Dear Deviant...
I’d like to thank you for your comments, they certainly helped me put things into perspective. Unfortunately, I’ve used all the same arguments to justify it to myself in the past, and they didn’t stop porn affecting my work, my marriage, and my prayer life. To me, there’s plenty wrong with it.
You say I should embrace my addiction – maybe you think I use that word glibly? Would you so freely offer a recovering alcoholic a bottle of whiskey?
The fact is I cannot hold it at arms length. One wank is never enough. That’s what addiction means, and that’s what this is.
I know it will never leave me. Over the years it has increasingly become my master, but now I’m taking control. It may well come back and bite me – it has done plenty of times before.
Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe I’ve let God take control again. For whatever reason, you’ve made me realise that I no longer share your attitude, and for that, I am truly grateful.
You say I should embrace my addiction – maybe you think I use that word glibly? Would you so freely offer a recovering alcoholic a bottle of whiskey?
The fact is I cannot hold it at arms length. One wank is never enough. That’s what addiction means, and that’s what this is.
I know it will never leave me. Over the years it has increasingly become my master, but now I’m taking control. It may well come back and bite me – it has done plenty of times before.
Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe I’ve let God take control again. For whatever reason, you’ve made me realise that I no longer share your attitude, and for that, I am truly grateful.
posted by M386 at 5:03 pm
1 Comments:
Hello,
Thanks for replying.
I feel quite sad that you are adamant about your addiction as a problem. I wouldn't give whiskey to an alcoholic, but then I do not view Porn as anywhere near as destructive as booze. But I can't get away from the thought that you appear to be trying to turn the tides back.
It is natural. Wanking is natural, and as proven by many cave paintings, so is porn. It is only your religious outlook that alters this fact. One wank is definitely never enough, of course not.
I am fascinated to hear how porn affected your work life, please tell me as I just can't imagine how that could be.
Also, please understand, I am not playing with you, I genuinely want to try to help you feel better about this.
There is another aspect to this that I hope you have considered. If you're being so strongly drawn to porn, may I suggest that you may be losing out in the marriage bed? Seriously, have you told her how you like it, or asked if she can oblige? You may be surprised at her attitude, especially if you manage to express how fundamentally it can save your relationship. I fully accept that you love your wife, but what is love if she doesn't ring your bell?
I really strongly feel that this is all about how you view porn/sex/pleasure. Looking at it throught the bible will not help you. Simply because the bible is just somebody's idea of how it should be. But come on, this is 2000 years later, are we really supposed to maintain that ethos? Are you keeping to it? No, because it's hard to do that.
That is because men have an inherently avid sex drive, that even Jenna Jameson couldn't keep happy. Well, maybe Jenna could, but...
There is the section of the bible where god says "Go forth and multiply." That's the bit that always makes me laugh because Xtians so often have your outlook on sex. But life is sex.
Literally, no sex, no life. Rule 1.
Porn and all of the ecoutrements are just branches off from that fact.
Really, ask difficult questions of yourself, and be prepared to entertain the notion that true answers may not align with Xtian mythology.
There are other ways!
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