Do I want this enough?

There were times during the last few weeks that I didn't want purity. I didn't want to be free of this addiction. At least, not enough.

There has been too much to struggle with, and I simply couldn't be bothered struggling not to MB. So I did MB. And, pretty soon, I was doing so habitually, day after day, and then needed a little something to help me along, and was back up to my neck in porn.

Not only had I lost the will to fight though, I had started using the problems building up around me as an excuse to act out. If my wife was on a downer one day, as soon as she went out I'd have my trousers round my ankles and be booting up a porn site...

I'd like to say I realised what I was doing before it went too far, but really, any involvement in porn is too much.

But it's good enough to say that I realised what I was doing. And stopped.