Another Subject

Like I said yesterday, I’m not quitting out of religious guilt – I’m not religious. Which is to say, my faith does not begin and end with a list of rules. It is much more complicated than that.

True Christianity is about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I cannot begin to describe the depth of this relationship now – maybe I’ll try later, but today I have other things on my mind. Suffice to say that Jesus was prepared to take the rap for me, for everything I’d done wrong up until the point when I met him. My behaviour since that day, as a Christian, has been out of gratitude, not duty. I mean, the man died for me. That deserves something, right?

When I discovered internet pornography, I gradually found I had less time to spend with him. I mean, the guy died for me, and a couple of naked women on a computer screen is more important than simple gratitude? How messed up is that?

I can’t get back the time I’ve wasted. I may well have missed out on some real blessings as I’ve drifted away. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see me again. But Jesus isn’t like most friends. Did I mention he died for me? I expect he wants his sacrifice to be worth something, so he welcomes me back. It’s a testament to the depth of this friendship that he is the only one who really knows the extent of what I’ve done, and what I’m trying to achieve now.

It’s not like old times yet – maybe it never will be. But I’m sure as my journey out of pornography progresses, my journey back to Jesus will do so as well.

Here’s looking to the new times.