How Bizarre

Having decided, before the occasion arose, that I would save myself for marriage, keep sex as something special, unique to myself and my wife. I struggled to beat off my natural sexual desires during my teens and early 20s, showed as much restraint as humanly possible as my relationship with my now wife flourished, and saved myself for the wedding night. Sex was special, and remains so because of this.

And yet, since the wedding night, I have cheapened it, in the privacy of my own little home office, by watching other people doing it. By lusting over other women. By feeding unrealistic expectations of how my sex life might be improved. By thinking, however 'hypothetically', about replying to personals and seeking fulfilment of these expectations elsewhere.

All that effort, those years of emotional restraint....

That's not just bizarre. It's f*cking stupid.