The Addict speaks.

This is pointless. I'm just kidding myself this is a real effort to change.

Fact is, I don't want to change. I like porn. I like MB.

And I know, even if God-boy me is in denial, that even if I avoid porn for a week, a month, a year... I will go back. I hunt out my favourite girls again. Probably find some new favourites in the process. I'll collect the same pictures and movies.

So why waste time? Why not just cut the middle-man out and start now?

Besides, I need stress relief right now. Life with a month-old baby is stressful. Life with a depressed wife is stressful. Being a sexual person with no sexual relief is stressful. And being a sexual person, my chosen vent for all this stress is MB. That's hurting no-one, and it's helping me. Porn just helps me along the way.

So here's my new plan. Knuckle down, get the day's work finished early, and surf until knocking off time at 5.30. If I can get my work done, and finish at my usual time to spend some time with my family, who loses? Maybe, at some future time, sex will re-enter the marriage equation, and I'll re-evaluate things. Until then, I'll P&MB, in moderation, for fun and sexual relief.