Attack of the killer sex-dreams

I'm sure most healthy, red-blooded males, who don’t MB habitually, occasionally dream about sex. That’s alright. I don’t have a problem with that; I can’t control my unconscious mind. But when I start dreaming about porn… I mean, come on. Where does this thing stop? Dreaming about looking at mucky pictures? What is wrong with you, brain?

At the moment, I think it's just that I'm vulnerable to it - it's been almost 2 months and it's trying to get me back - but the dreams aren't a new thing.

To start with I did literally just dream I was looking at a mucky magazine.

Later I dreamt about my friends rejecting me when they found out about this addiction. I'll try and relate the dream as I recall it, but you'll have to bear with the fact that dreams don't make sense to the conscious brain. But there will be a pay-off; this dream taught me something. Anyway:

My friends - a group of them, not just my immediate circle - had found out I had been into porn. I think in my dream world, porn was illegal, and as one of them owned a corner shop, they had good reason for not wanting a known porn addict within their inner circle, especially when the porn inspector came around. On the day of the porn inspection, I happened to be in the shop with them, against their better judgement.

So the porn inspector - who, this being a sex dream, was a rather attractive woman -comes in, makes a cursory show of her inspection, whatever that may entail, and then comes for me. My friends disown me again, assuming she knows I'm a user, and I'm left alone to face the inspector... who, it turns out, was one of the internet models I'd been obsessed with, stalking me.

I probably didn't do it much justice there, but the message it clearly spoke to me on awaking was that if I'm not careful, this obsession I've turned away from having nurtured it for years will come back. It's stalking me, and if I don't keep walking away, it will catch me and attack me.

On a positive note, I had another dream last night. I forget most of what happened, but I think, even in my dream, I stopped without going beyond a google image search.

See, even my subconscious is in recovery.