Riding the crest of a slump
The last two days have been bad. Really very bad.
Suffice it to say that events over Christmas, combined with a sudden attack of extreme temptation, triggered the biggest, longest bout of acting out in a long time.
Sometimes, I just wish I could excercise some control over the part of my brain that insists the answers to life's problems can be found on an adult website.
There's an overwhelming sense of pointlessness to the whole process: give in to it, download lots of nice pictures, add some websites to your favourites, get bored of the repetetiveness of it, repent and clean up your PC, go straight until you forget all that, then give in to temptation and start all over again...
Too much of yesterday just disappeared before I'd even noticed. That's probably the worst thing, if only because it's the part of the process I can, in theory at least, control.
This addiction sucks.
Can I have my life back please?
Suffice it to say that events over Christmas, combined with a sudden attack of extreme temptation, triggered the biggest, longest bout of acting out in a long time.
Sometimes, I just wish I could excercise some control over the part of my brain that insists the answers to life's problems can be found on an adult website.
There's an overwhelming sense of pointlessness to the whole process: give in to it, download lots of nice pictures, add some websites to your favourites, get bored of the repetetiveness of it, repent and clean up your PC, go straight until you forget all that, then give in to temptation and start all over again...
Too much of yesterday just disappeared before I'd even noticed. That's probably the worst thing, if only because it's the part of the process I can, in theory at least, control.
This addiction sucks.
Can I have my life back please?
posted by M386 at 2:51 pm
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