Struggling to cope

Not just with my own problems, but with my wife's deepening depression.

I am supposed to be working at home today, but I've had Mrs 386 crying in one ear, the baby in the other (as I've taken her so she doesn't pick up on her mum's negativity), and I ended up losing my rag at one point which just made things ten times worse...

With all this going on I'm having enormous difficulty keeping my head above water at the moment, behaving normally around the baby and actually getting a bit of work done, that I can't cope with my wife's extreme moods.

Hiding what's going on in my head is making it worse for me, but to tell her how I feel - and the sort of sordid crap that goes through my head at those times - would be an incredibly bad thing at the moment. All of which is just piling frustration on top of frustration and making an escape into porn-land look all the more tempting....

But I won't allow myself that. I'm about 48 hours from the end of my last binge, which makes me clean for about 60% of 2006 so far...

I guess the aim should be to keep increasing that number from here on in.