Giving up.

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me.
- Evanescence, 'Taking Over Me'

There was a time I would have given up everything to find God.
In fact, I did.

I gave up the thing I loved the most. A thing that wasn't harmful like porn.
For a while, it made me a good and happy person.
But not the person God wanted.
So, although I knew it would hurt, I let go, and went after God.

So, why the hell am I having such difficulty letting go of porn?


Sorry, I'm feeling a bit down right now. I guess there's only so much alone-time a guy can use before... well, I did the 'guy alone' thing. The thing I've been trying to give up. I so nearly made it to the end of the week, too. I think I underestimated how lonely it would get.

On the plus side, I think, now, in the aftermath, I'm realising something. Or starting to. It's wierd. I think it's God. I'll let you know when I figure out what he wants.