My brain and it's evil plot

My brain - or the Addict's brain, maybe - has been playing some nasty tricks on me lately.

It's latest accomplices: old girlfriends. Sick of the post-baby sex-drought, it starts wondering what might have been. What if I hadn't turned down that blind date? What if I had gone out with Samantha? What if I had that dance with Emma? What if I had been a bit more adventurous with holiday romances? Or just bit the bullet and asked one of the girls I knew out on a date?

Truth is, of course, I didn't do as badly for girlfriends as I thought I did at the time, so I'm sure another one wouldn't have stopped me becoming the person I am. Not in a good way, anyway.

And what's worse is when my memory springs one of the girls I did go out with on me. One of the girls I saw a bit too much of. One of them came to me in a dream last night... I try not to be bothered about dreams - after all, I can't control them - but it's still bothering me. She is othering me, almost as if I had actually run into her last night, rather than just imagining that I did.

I suppose it will pass, as these things do. It's just another symptom.