The Wall
Just over three weeks in, I've hit the wall.
The going is suddenly much tougher than it has been since I started this blog.
Because I've been tougher on myself regarding MB and non-nude images, because there has been no outlet for my addiction in 24 days, it's hitting me harder than it did 3 weeks into my last 'clean' stint.
However, the freedoms I allowed myself then, the excursions to the bikini line and freedom to MB pretty much whenever the mood arose, were undoubtedly major factors in my Christmas fall.
Since yesterday, the problem has been in my mind. The scenes that led me here back in November are replaying subconsciously. They are a distraction, and a temptation. Maybe a peek would stop the distraction. Maybe it would lead to a binge. Is that a chance worth taking? I don't think so. The prize - freedom from porn and the satisfaction of not letting it beat me - will last longer than a brief orgasmic rush in front of a PC.
I will run on. I will complete this race.
The going is suddenly much tougher than it has been since I started this blog.
Because I've been tougher on myself regarding MB and non-nude images, because there has been no outlet for my addiction in 24 days, it's hitting me harder than it did 3 weeks into my last 'clean' stint.
However, the freedoms I allowed myself then, the excursions to the bikini line and freedom to MB pretty much whenever the mood arose, were undoubtedly major factors in my Christmas fall.
Since yesterday, the problem has been in my mind. The scenes that led me here back in November are replaying subconsciously. They are a distraction, and a temptation. Maybe a peek would stop the distraction. Maybe it would lead to a binge. Is that a chance worth taking? I don't think so. The prize - freedom from porn and the satisfaction of not letting it beat me - will last longer than a brief orgasmic rush in front of a PC.
I will run on. I will complete this race.
posted by M386 at 10:46 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home